FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Here’s my audio review of X Factor episode 1!
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So the much awaited X Factor premiered last night. On a scale of 1-10, I would probably give it a 6.
It’s was a lot of Mission Impossible/ Bourne Identity editing with a fluffy Pet- Detective– like script.
X Factor host ( Steve Jones) is a bit intense, to say the least. He looks like a cyborg evil version of Simon Cowell.
The X Factor audition cities..Newark? I can’t believe that was the first city that they put on the screen for this new sexy show.
‘That’s right…X Factor..auditions like you’ve never seen before, Newark, Statton Island, The Poconos and the list goes on.’
Then we see three big X Factor 18 Wheelers driving across the American landscape. I’m thinking it was Paula’s medication en route to one of the audition cities. JUST kidding.
X FACTOR- BEWARE OF MEN IS SHINY SILVER SUITS
X Factor was waaaay more contrived than it needed to be. Like the guy who showed his ‘banana’ on stage and Paula was so upset, she had to run to bathroom and be sick. Really? Cut to: X Factor audience members storming out of the building. One man was screaming into his hands. Oh, the humanity!!!
The contestant had a great comeback,” I’ve got other songs. I’ve got gentle ballads.” hahaha
HOW DOES X FACTOR WORK?
Aside from the regular Gong Show antics, you’re probably asking yourself, “Is there a combination or permutation of a American singing show that hasn’t been done yet???”
Yes, the answer is X Factor. Contestants are divided into 4 categories; girls over the age of 12, boys over the age of 12, groups and finally contestants over 30 years old.
WHAT’S THE BIG X FACTOR PRIZE?
The prize is a lofty 5 million dollars– in case you didn’t want to get out of bed for 1 million dollars.
WHO ARE THE X FACTOR JUDGES?
The X Factor judges are Simon Cowell, mega producer LA Reid (picture Samuel Jackson crossed with Sidney Poitier crossed with a thinner Randy Jackson), Paula Abdul and Nicole S from The PussyCat Dolls. Nicole S, in fact, looks like Paula without the crazy eyes and all the plastic surgery. Paula, I think is slowly morphing into Zera from Planet of the Apes, don’t you think?
HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE ME TO REALLY WATCH X FACTOR ON MY PVR?
Six minutes. The highlights from last night if you just want to the craziness.
From the X -Factor LA Auditions :
-42 year old Stacey Frances who sang ” Natural Woman” – Amazing
From the X- Factor Seattle Auditions:
-20 year old Marcus who promised his mom that he would go back to school if his 2 year venture into singing didn’t work out. Marcus sang Stevie Wonder’s, ” I Wish”
-Boy band Anser
-20 year old garbage collector and former drug addict Chris Rene who sang his own original tune.
X FACTOR CONTESTANTS PAY FOR FOOD???
The X Factor line of the evening, by the way (besides the dancing stripper), occurred when one of the contestants complained that they had to pay 5 dollars for a hot dog!!!
Come on X Factor. Can you say ‘cheap’?
WILL YOU WATCH X FACTOR TONIGHT?
X-Factor- It’s the Gong Show. It’s American Idol with bigger egos and better editing. Will I watch X-Factor tonight? You bet I will. But only with my PVR!
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As Seen On
