Countdown to hometown dates started in Taiwan. Two guys had to go home out of Ames, Ben F, Constantine, Lucas, JP and Ryan. I have to admit I was a little shocked at who Ashley picked and even if  she wasn’t  everybody’s favorite choice as the Bachelorette, she would have been a good match with the guy  that she sent home.
ARE THOSE FLOATING BALLOONS WITH CANDLES IN THEM LEGAL?


First date went to Constantine. I’m sorry, I don’t get the Constantine vibe. On top of that, he’s playing hard to get. Is he kidding? Ashley and C ( sorry, that name is too long to write) wrote on giant balloons and then sent them floating up into the air with candles inside. Um, here’s the thing…where do those balloons land? Is someone’s house going to catch on fire?

BEN F. STAYS OVER AND JP IS ABOUT TO BLOW HIS COOL LITTLE BALD HEAD
Second date went to Ben F. I guess Ashley has a type because is it just me or do  Ben F. and C look a lot alike? Anyway, Ben F. and Ashley went on a moped ride through the spectacular Taroko Natural Park.
I was really impressed with the scenery. This is how you justify looking at junky tv folks. You pretend you’re watching the Travel Channel, have another glass of red wine and it’s all good.
‘Gee, I would have had no idea what Taroko Natural Park looked like. Look at those incredible gorges.
Thanks Bachelorette.’

When Ben F. stayed overnight, JP ( aka Lance Armstrong) just about lost it and pulled a major sulk fit.  What a baby.Really? You’re on a reality tv show dude called The Bachelorette. Now you’re shocked that she’s dating OTHER guys. Remember, about a thousand of you poured out of the limo in the beginning of the show??
 
DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY

Group date went to Lucas, Ames and Baby JP. All three guys had to dress up to take a traditional Taiwanese wedding photo with Ashley. To Lucas’ credit ( and JP could have taken some tips here), Lucas took it like a man- even though he was dressed like a woman. Lucas’ ‘traditional’ outfit looked more like a long dress but Lucas swallowed his pride and smiled. I give him a lot of credit for that.
Ames’ outfit wasn’t much better ( a powder blue tuxedo and pink shirt) but Ames, as well, acted like a good sport.

JP got the best outfit, by far. A black tuxedo.  But JP was still fuming from Ben F.’s date the night before. He ruined the cheesy moment, for sure.


ASHLEY FALLS FOR THE TEMPER TANTRUMS!!
When the guys got back to the house, once again, Ashley showed her poor judgement and gave in to JP’s sulky fits- shoving Ames and Lucas out of the way to grab the rose for the bald headed baby.

TANK LESS WATER HEATER OR DUNK TANK
Glad to see that Bachelorette producers really give a hoot about the environment. They could have AT LEAST edited the scene so that we could have heard Ryan’s pitch for the tankless water heaters before Ashley hit the button and gave Ryan the splash.
Also, as much as I’m not a fan of Ryan’s..can the man have a little privacy please?   The guy is balling his eyes out and there is a camera in every nook and cranny trying to catch his reaction. Terrible.

LUCAS TAKES IT LIKE A MAN
Ashley also chose to give Lucas the heave ho before the hometown dates but Lucas took it like a true cowboy and walked into the sunset wearing his Clint Eastwood Poncho.

 
EMILY HUH?
Never send a man in to do a woman’s work. Chris Harrison was clearly out of his element.  He got NOTHING out of Emily. She cried and spoke in cryptic messages but I have still have NO idea why she and Brad broke up. Chris sat there and blinked every now and then.  Imagine if Oprah or Barbara Walters was sitting there asking the hard hitting questions like, ” Okay, enough with the babbling and complaining about the paparazzi, what’s the REAL reason you two split up??? Does Brad have anger management issues? Does your daughter not like Brad? Did Brad cheat on you? Did you cheat on Brad? What is it????