The Bachelor Finale – The Showdown – Not Really

So tonight is the big showdown. Who will Cyborg- Himbo Brad Womack pick?
He’s-just-not- that – into-you Chantal ( poor thing, has no idea what is coming)
Or Emily and her lovely daughter Ricky-Bobby from Taladega Nights?
If Brad chooses Chantal, I will eat my entire bag of Cosco- sized potato chips ( I know, I said I’d give them up for Lent but I CAN’T)
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This week's Bachelor- hometown dates

So in this episode ( the hometown dates) the Bachelor got to meet the families of the four girls still left in the competition.
First off, there was Chantal from Seattle. Wow! How loaded is she?? Brad’s probably thinking that her stock value just went up 500% . Who else’s family has a massive bronze sculpture in the hallway?? (other than in Woodbridge..haha JUST kidding)
On a completely unrelated note, doesn’t Chantal’s mother look like…
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The Bachelor – Monday Feb 14 2011

Okay, I still believe the two finalists are going to be Emily and The Mortician.
Does Brad really care about Emily or is she just challenging because she doesn’t want to introduce her daughter Ricky (is that short for Ricky Bobby??) to him.
Brad’s date with anorexic woman/ child Britt was uncomfortable, to say the least.Aside from the fact that she is extremely young, she’s also waaaay too thin. Ironically, she’s a food writer!
BTW, Brad doesn’t hesitate for a second, when he has to dump somebody, does he?  Poor Britt- just after she finished eating, for the first time all week, too.
Brad : We have no chemisty.
Britt. But, but ..we just need some time.
Brad: Please leave the ship now. Scram.
Brit. Okay ( barf). Can I take a carrot stick?
Then Brad escorts Britt to the back of the yacht – like she’s some sort of stowaway- where her awaiting tugboat is anchored to take her back to the beach.
How humiliating for Britt!  The cameras track every last step from the yacht to the house…where she has to tell the other girls ( who are secretly doing high fives) that she has to go home. AND..On a small editing note, Britt packs a blue suitcase but she leaves with an orange suitcase? Was she so distraught that she took someone else’s luggage?? Don’t do it, Britt- their clothes will be too big.
CUT TO: Next morning- Group date on the beach with Ashley, Chantal and Pyscho Michelle.
Okay, even by Bachelor standards, this show has hit a new low. Girls take off your tops! Really? How much am I making to be on this show? Shockingly Ashley and Chantal agree.
Then Psycho Michelle check mates  the other two by getting a whole make out session on the beach with Brad – while leaving her top on.
CUT TO : Chantal and Ashley Crying, crying, crying….followed by Brad saying a hundred times..’Can I talk to you for a second? I really have nothing to say but take a look at my pecs.’
In the end, Brad dumps Pyscho Michelle –who, to her credit, gets the last laugh by giving everyone the silent treatment. She doesn’t speak to Brad. She doesn’t say anything in the limo. She just lies down and stares into the abyss. Do you know why?
Because she’s hanging onto the bottom of the limo when it comes back! Aaaaahhhhhhhh

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