Fiji is for fakers

Really, Constantine? You’re only figuring it out now that you don’t really have deeper feelings for The Bachelorette and you are doing the noble thing and leaving before you get too involved??? Do you think you could have reached this conclusion before Fiji? Before Thailand? Before Hong Kong? But I don’t blame you, my friend. Ashley has the worst choice in men ( ie Bentley). You found her mildly attractive so of course, in Ashley world, that means mariage material!!

Ryan – do you have any dignity, dude???

Eternally smiley Ryan just can’t get the hint- She’s just not that into you! I was half expecting- when Chris was talking to Ashley on the balcony afterwards- that Ryan would  pop out of that big golden vase, “Are you sure? Are you really, really sure that you don’t like me?” Aarrgh.

Does Chris Harrison have the easiest gig in the world?

Between making Unibomber appearances on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, Chris Harrison has the easiest job in the world.  Seriously, last night he didn’t turn up for the first hour. Luckily, he painstakingly wrote some notes to each couple re Fantasy Suite. Note to Bachelorette suitors: stop acting surprised about the Fantasy Suite.

Gentle Ben

Whereas in the beginning, I was pretty hard on this Bachelorette suitor, I must admit Ben has grown on me. The guy, to his credit, has matured and is not afraid to admit how he feels. The chemistry between Ben and The Bachelorette actually seems the most natural. As annoying as Ashley can be sometimes, Ben seems to compliment her well and gosh darnit, I hope these two kids make it. Doesn’t hurt either that Ben had a winery. Delicious. Let’s face it, JP may look like Lance Armstrong but he has anger management issues and he thinks  roller rinks and drinking out of plastic cups is romantic.

Fire the camera department!!!

Okay, so JP and Ashley get wisked away to a beautiful remote island not too far from the main land. They’ve been swimming in the water ( JP was wearing a life vest– nerd alert) and then they go to the island for a romantic picnic. Kiss kiss…it’s looking hopeful…JP says to The Bachelorette, ‘ Wow, it’s like we’re the only two people together in the world.’
Cut to: the camera pans away for an aerial shot and you can see houses on the other side of the island! In fact, there are umbrellas. Seriously, there must be friggin Holiday Inn on the other side.
The Bachelors Tell All....can’t wait for the gaggle of women in the audience to tear Bentley limb from limb.
Rumors have it that Ashley gets engaged. I think she is going to go for Ben.  Which is great because JP will make a perfect next Bachelor. That’s my casting anyway.